If you never had a dream of what you wanted to be if you could dictate; you are probably a very dull person who either resigned to fate or easily satisfied. Without a dream, you would not have a target-turned-objective in life; you would not push yourself to the height of your potential in order to realise your dream.
If your younger days were very rural, you probably dreamed a future in urban. If you were raised in a middle income family, you probably dreamed of a better life as you grew older. If you achieved less currently, you probably dreamed of getting more in days to come. On the contrary, did you not see some who lived a high profile life now decided a secluded retirement; did you not notice others who fought their career in the highrised commercial zone finally settle for a house by the country side.
Dream does not necessary imply that it should be better of or more viabrant, some would opt for a quieter and basic life. Dream is more to satisfy one's pscychological needs than material needs. Those dreams for material comfort are probably short-lived while those in search of a psychological satisfaction are long lasting.
A dream without boundary will allow you to challenge your limit and you may gained unexpectedly when you ventured into area once considered too wild. By putting reality constraints when you dream, you limit yourself to what you already are and a dream of such would not be too exciting afterall.
Since young, translating a dream into target to map out strategies so as to achieve a result closest to the dream was the way of life. When in college, the dream of a top scholar allowed constant revision planning to achieve the desired result. When in society, the daring to dream beyond scope allowed the achievements today. Without the dream, life would probably be monotonious and be one amongst the billions ordinary people. The dream however had helped survive the life despite setbacks into the present days.
Dare to dream, you will have nothing to lose from the dream.
如果你能够主宰自己的一生，你却从来没有梦想；可想而知你应该是个甘于平淡生活的人。没有梦想，你就不会将它化为人生目标；你就不会以为有了目标而向自己的极限挑战。
如果你早期生活于田园，或许你将梦想着在城市的未来。 如果你出生于小康之家，或许你会梦想着富贵的成长。如果你现在得到的不够多，或许你会梦想着将来获得更多。但是君不见有些人的梦想却不太相同；万人瞩目的名人向往恬静无争的退隐生活；出入于高楼大厦者梦想着乡村的田野风光。
梦想不一定是往高处爬，往灿烂的日子走；有人的梦想是平静和普通的日子。满足心理上需求的梦想更胜于物质上的追求。物资上满足的梦想是短暂的，心灵上的满足则是没有尽头的。没有范围边境的梦想能让你挑战你的极限，或许让你有个意外的收获。把现实中的限制加于梦想中，就如把枷锁套在自己身上一般，如此和现实无异的梦想毫无刺激可言。
从小就喜欢把梦想付诸于计划，追求最为接近的结果。读书时梦想着出类拔萃，就会付诸于学习中的行动以获得最佳的成绩。进入社会后的经常梦想造就了今日的成绩，如果当日没有或不敢于梦想，今日将与芸芸大众的平淡生活无异; 也因为梦想才让种种的阻碍变成了磨练，成就了今日。
敢于梦想，有梦想没有损失； 没有梦想则不会有意外的收获。
Saturday, January 26, 2008
Friday, January 25, 2008
True Love 真爱
Everyone seeks True Love in life; but what is True Love? It is hard to come by, unpursuable and only if you are fated to have. Love occurs very often in life, most of which are short-lived as passing clouds; few or if you are lucky, one may be memorable. But that may not mean True Love.
True Love is when the person is able to touch your heart; that you live your life in joy and in pain together and when nothing cannot be sacrificed for the sake of the loved one, even your life. True Love makes you extreme emotionally. You could be overjoyed for True Love; or you could be devastated for True Love.
The first love stayed apart; over the years, lovers became confidants. No parting pains but the satisfaction of a new bosom friendship.
The second love came untimely; over the times, lovers developed as pals. No losing pains but an added responsibility for a younger sibling.
The third love lived shortly; over three months, passion turned understanding. Even in pain, love was to sacrifice for the other.
The pain turned into a journy in seek of a recuperating place; vowed never to be indulged in the sea of love but to float on the streams of lust. 3 years without adventure and thought this would just be the life until the person stepped into and touches the heart till today. First caught sight of a loner by the side but the heart was totally captive. A kiss in December sealed the fate of two persons.
This love breaks and heals, unable to withdraw, willingly submerged. Unreservedly and unwithholdingly, this is True Love.
What is True Love in this world? Eternally we will not part.
每个人一生中都渴望真爱；但是真爱为何物？真爱可遇不可求，有人一生中恋爱无数，经常短暂如行云流水；几番刻骨或者一段铭心，但是这并不代表遇上真爱。真爱是当有人能够真正触动你心，因你喜而喜，因你悲而悲；生死相许。 真爱会让人情感极端。你会因它欣喜若狂，也会因它痛彻心肺。得到真爱时，你会喜极而泣；失去时，你会痛哭流泪。真爱让你不知所措，真爱让你辗转难眠。
第一段情两地相思，时过数年，感情升华。从爱人变为知己，没有分手的痛苦；有的是得一知己的满足。
第二段情时不予我，生活瓶颈，万事皆休。从爱人成为兄长，没有离别的懊悔；有的是身为人兄的责任。
第三段情短暂激情，三日定情，三月别离。从相爱变成了解，没有感情的耕耘；有的是强忍泪水的 成全。
因痛苦和无奈以至离乡背井，到了另一地方寻找疗伤之地。原不愿再堕感情的漩涡，只愿在红尘中游戏人间。历经三年而无所遇，虽然身旁过客无数；原以为就此一生，但是人生中的真爱才真正开始。初次见面时，犹见一人独处一旁；但是心已被系。四个月的相处，情感无法自拔。十二月中偶然的一吻，情根深种。
这一段情离离合合，始终难舍，分离又合。从相识以至相爱，没有保留的付出；有的是无怨无悔的真爱。
问世间情为何物？直叫人生死相许。
True Love is when the person is able to touch your heart; that you live your life in joy and in pain together and when nothing cannot be sacrificed for the sake of the loved one, even your life. True Love makes you extreme emotionally. You could be overjoyed for True Love; or you could be devastated for True Love.
The first love stayed apart; over the years, lovers became confidants. No parting pains but the satisfaction of a new bosom friendship.
The second love came untimely; over the times, lovers developed as pals. No losing pains but an added responsibility for a younger sibling.
The third love lived shortly; over three months, passion turned understanding. Even in pain, love was to sacrifice for the other.
The pain turned into a journy in seek of a recuperating place; vowed never to be indulged in the sea of love but to float on the streams of lust. 3 years without adventure and thought this would just be the life until the person stepped into and touches the heart till today. First caught sight of a loner by the side but the heart was totally captive. A kiss in December sealed the fate of two persons.
This love breaks and heals, unable to withdraw, willingly submerged. Unreservedly and unwithholdingly, this is True Love.
What is True Love in this world? Eternally we will not part.
每个人一生中都渴望真爱；但是真爱为何物？真爱可遇不可求，有人一生中恋爱无数，经常短暂如行云流水；几番刻骨或者一段铭心，但是这并不代表遇上真爱。真爱是当有人能够真正触动你心，因你喜而喜，因你悲而悲；生死相许。 真爱会让人情感极端。你会因它欣喜若狂，也会因它痛彻心肺。得到真爱时，你会喜极而泣；失去时，你会痛哭流泪。真爱让你不知所措，真爱让你辗转难眠。
第一段情两地相思，时过数年，感情升华。从爱人变为知己，没有分手的痛苦；有的是得一知己的满足。
第二段情时不予我，生活瓶颈，万事皆休。从爱人成为兄长，没有离别的懊悔；有的是身为人兄的责任。
第三段情短暂激情，三日定情，三月别离。从相爱变成了解，没有感情的耕耘；有的是强忍泪水的 成全。
因痛苦和无奈以至离乡背井，到了另一地方寻找疗伤之地。原不愿再堕感情的漩涡，只愿在红尘中游戏人间。历经三年而无所遇，虽然身旁过客无数；原以为就此一生，但是人生中的真爱才真正开始。初次见面时，犹见一人独处一旁；但是心已被系。四个月的相处，情感无法自拔。十二月中偶然的一吻，情根深种。
这一段情离离合合，始终难舍，分离又合。从相识以至相爱，没有保留的付出；有的是无怨无悔的真爱。
问世间情为何物？直叫人生死相许。
Thursday, January 24, 2008
Eating A Dead Cat 吃死猫
The explicit Chinese expression of Eating A Dead Cat （吃死猫 - Chi Si Mao) is commonly used to describe a person suffering a wrong accusation but yet could do nothing about it. Either you can't explain or you don't bother to or you are in a peculiar situation to accept it. The three simple Chinese words many times best describe the helpless situation a person is in. In life, you just cannot totally avoid to Eat A Dead Cat at times. The result could be a harmless laughing matter but it could also have a devastating effect.
Probably because of character, went through more times than others in such situations. Right from school days when you were young and playful but popular, you ended up as a notorious student in the teachers' eyes. When you gained recognition because of your maturity and ability, you were labelled as bootlickers by fellow schoolmates. It seemed that you just could not have the best of both worlds. But there was probably nothing you could do except to Eat the Dead Cat.
When you started working, your drive and passion could well ended up a sabotaging act to the mediocre colleagues. But when an accountable person is needed in a bad light, your boss may not hesitate to put you forward. Again there was probably nothing much you could do except to Eat the Dead Cat. Your counter-actions may again be seen negatively as promoting office politics.
Likewise in the earlier mention of the relationship, it would have been common because out of love or you were not given the opportunity to explain yourself. But for love, Eating A Dead Cat is basically done willingly and there would be no bad feeling.
But A Dead Cat is never good to Eat at anytime; especially if the end result proves too damaging or it was offered so someone else could escape justice or simply for you to take all the hits. That was the situation 5 months ago at work, despite all the hard works; all the goods you had done were easily forgotten. So easy forgotten because it would bring a sense of guilt if you Eat the Dead Cat for them. So easy because it would help to defuse and divert the attention of the bad shape they were in.
To complete the loop; they acted as though they tried to reconcile the situation and yet they prevented you from accessing your defence. They knew only too well if you survive, they were probably gone down the drains. They knew having you to Eat a Dead Cat was definitely better than they swallowed a Living Tiger.
Not that you do not want to defend yourself but just felt sick to the way they were and what is the point of defending when you know that all they want is a scapegoat. That was why for the near 3 months seclude living, to find within self what have you done to deserve this. You were the first to stand in the line for any battle, the first to cut short your vacation so others could enjoy a longer stay; the first to take a pay cut so others could support a bigger family and finally they place you first and the only to face the firing squad.
Numbers don't lie; this is a favorite because it always tells the truth. When they did not have them, they implied something fishy. When the numbers showed, they said they were too busy to look at them. But again, this is a fact of life. Eating a Dead Cat is happening everyday and everywhere, but it tasted awful if it was offered by your closed pals.
中文词汇常常点出一样事情的精髓；‘吃死猫’就是绝佳的例子。那是对你在那种无可奈何，生吞委屈情况的最佳描述。你可能无法解释，也可能不肖解释，甚至于不能解释。但那种吃死猫的无助感却在这三个字里表露无疑。一个人一生中无法完全避免这个状况。后果可能无伤大雅，却也可能破坏极大。
可能性格使然，吃死猫的次数应该比别人多。少年学生时代的年少轻狂在老师眼中是叛逆不羁；而后稳重能力的显现在同学眼中则是奉承拍马。很难两面讨好，你也只有吃下这只死猫 。长大工作后，对工作的热忱和干劲是平庸同事的胸口痛；面对艰难时刻，老板却毫不犹豫将你推向断头台。你的反抗可能就落个大耍办公室政治的不利标签。反正这只死猫你是吃定了。
吃死猫在前篇所说的感情事里时有发生。出于爱或者你没有机会辩解；但是这只死猫你却吃得心甘情愿，没有怨言。但是死猫并不好吃；尤其吃后‘消化不良’, 后果不堪设想。五个月前工作上的种种；无论先前如何卖力，所作的好事都不曾记得。不曾记得可以减少给你吃死猫的内疚感 不想记得因为可以借此转移视线，忘了他们的狼狈相。
做戏全套是专长，表面极力化解事情，暗地里将你的辩解切断。了解你生则他们亡；了解你吃一只死猫好过他们去啃下一只活老虎。不是不想辩解，只是对于一切反胃之极；只是了解他们所要的是一只代罪羔羊罢了。这造就了近三个月的隐居生活，想要寻找所造何孽，为何此报？你是第一个冲上前线的战士，第一个缩短假期让他们陪伴家人的同事；第一个消减薪水让他们安心养家的朋友。最后你也成了第一个被他们推向火枪队的牺牲品。
数字不会说谎是最爱；皆因它常说真话。当没有数字时的绘声绘影，和数字显现后的无暇兼顾形成强烈对比。这就是人生的一部分，吃死猫时刻发生，但是如果请客的是你原先的战友，那种滋味实在非常人所能忍受。
Probably because of character, went through more times than others in such situations. Right from school days when you were young and playful but popular, you ended up as a notorious student in the teachers' eyes. When you gained recognition because of your maturity and ability, you were labelled as bootlickers by fellow schoolmates. It seemed that you just could not have the best of both worlds. But there was probably nothing you could do except to Eat the Dead Cat.
When you started working, your drive and passion could well ended up a sabotaging act to the mediocre colleagues. But when an accountable person is needed in a bad light, your boss may not hesitate to put you forward. Again there was probably nothing much you could do except to Eat the Dead Cat. Your counter-actions may again be seen negatively as promoting office politics.
Likewise in the earlier mention of the relationship, it would have been common because out of love or you were not given the opportunity to explain yourself. But for love, Eating A Dead Cat is basically done willingly and there would be no bad feeling.
But A Dead Cat is never good to Eat at anytime; especially if the end result proves too damaging or it was offered so someone else could escape justice or simply for you to take all the hits. That was the situation 5 months ago at work, despite all the hard works; all the goods you had done were easily forgotten. So easy forgotten because it would bring a sense of guilt if you Eat the Dead Cat for them. So easy because it would help to defuse and divert the attention of the bad shape they were in.
To complete the loop; they acted as though they tried to reconcile the situation and yet they prevented you from accessing your defence. They knew only too well if you survive, they were probably gone down the drains. They knew having you to Eat a Dead Cat was definitely better than they swallowed a Living Tiger.
Not that you do not want to defend yourself but just felt sick to the way they were and what is the point of defending when you know that all they want is a scapegoat. That was why for the near 3 months seclude living, to find within self what have you done to deserve this. You were the first to stand in the line for any battle, the first to cut short your vacation so others could enjoy a longer stay; the first to take a pay cut so others could support a bigger family and finally they place you first and the only to face the firing squad.
Numbers don't lie; this is a favorite because it always tells the truth. When they did not have them, they implied something fishy. When the numbers showed, they said they were too busy to look at them. But again, this is a fact of life. Eating a Dead Cat is happening everyday and everywhere, but it tasted awful if it was offered by your closed pals.
中文词汇常常点出一样事情的精髓；‘吃死猫’就是绝佳的例子。那是对你在那种无可奈何，生吞委屈情况的最佳描述。你可能无法解释，也可能不肖解释，甚至于不能解释。但那种吃死猫的无助感却在这三个字里表露无疑。一个人一生中无法完全避免这个状况。后果可能无伤大雅，却也可能破坏极大。
可能性格使然，吃死猫的次数应该比别人多。少年学生时代的年少轻狂在老师眼中是叛逆不羁；而后稳重能力的显现在同学眼中则是奉承拍马。很难两面讨好，你也只有吃下这只死猫 。长大工作后，对工作的热忱和干劲是平庸同事的胸口痛；面对艰难时刻，老板却毫不犹豫将你推向断头台。你的反抗可能就落个大耍办公室政治的不利标签。反正这只死猫你是吃定了。
吃死猫在前篇所说的感情事里时有发生。出于爱或者你没有机会辩解；但是这只死猫你却吃得心甘情愿，没有怨言。但是死猫并不好吃；尤其吃后‘消化不良’, 后果不堪设想。五个月前工作上的种种；无论先前如何卖力，所作的好事都不曾记得。不曾记得可以减少给你吃死猫的内疚感 不想记得因为可以借此转移视线，忘了他们的狼狈相。
做戏全套是专长，表面极力化解事情，暗地里将你的辩解切断。了解你生则他们亡；了解你吃一只死猫好过他们去啃下一只活老虎。不是不想辩解，只是对于一切反胃之极；只是了解他们所要的是一只代罪羔羊罢了。这造就了近三个月的隐居生活，想要寻找所造何孽，为何此报？你是第一个冲上前线的战士，第一个缩短假期让他们陪伴家人的同事；第一个消减薪水让他们安心养家的朋友。最后你也成了第一个被他们推向火枪队的牺牲品。
数字不会说谎是最爱；皆因它常说真话。当没有数字时的绘声绘影，和数字显现后的无暇兼顾形成强烈对比。这就是人生的一部分，吃死猫时刻发生，但是如果请客的是你原先的战友，那种滋味实在非常人所能忍受。
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
A New Beginning 新开始
Life took a turn yesterday after more than 5 months of low tide. It has been adventurous in the past 5 years since coming to this city; life was like a roller coaster as the song is played. Came as a lost soul and picked up in the first 6 months to a new height, before sinking again just 2 years ago. Could not control that development and should have given up then, packed and gone home. But someone up there did decided to compensate by bringing the one who touches the heart at that time.
Then decision reversed and decided a second attempt. Life was beautifully paced, having the best of both world in work and romance. It would have been great to lead such a wonderful life and just when you thought so, things just went the opposite. The break up came as a shock as the romance suddenly vanished into the thin air. Not a trace of hint as to what really went wrong. It really drived one deep down to lose the momentum for anything.
The Chinese saying goes "Misfortunes don't come alone and fortunes don't travel in parallel" (祸不单行，福无双至）. Just when the personal life was in a mess, came that work was going that way too. The earlier post on Pains suggested pain inflicted from a broken romance is devastating. To be followed by that from a failed career and to top it all, the pain from the sense of betrayal by someone close; it could well be one that you never possibly bear at all. The world suddenly collapsed and the used-to colorful life just went grey.
2 months of secluded living, disconnected from the world outside. Trying to understand what went wrong and awaiting the healing from the time to lessen the pains. The chance of inflicting so many pains at one go was rare but it happened. Is a feeling of falling from heaven to hell but then again, it was also time to see the true color of those around you.
When life was positive, you tend to be blinded by the flowery words used upon you, the sycophancy probably sent you to heaven without you realising the truth. But as you fell, those used to circle around vanished and those whom never caught your attention but quietly stood around then were the one to lend a hand. Many times you just have to learn it the hard ways.
Thought 2 months would have lessened the pains yet it did not; it slipped into another month before decided to pick up the pieces. Negative momentum was the biggest problem for a new start. Life was unbearable and yet loneliness crept in. Was at a loss of right things in perspective when the chance came for the chat on the web that again changed the world.
The long chat suggested those gossipers as the guilty party that led to the walk-out. Certainly was not worthwhile to fall into their hands. But the chat did clear the air somehow and pace the way for a rekindled relationship just yesterday. It also built up a new momentum to organise the once fallen world.
People said each one is gifted in his own way. Re-energising the grey world was a forte and within the month, things were patching up. Knowing that life would probably return to its original path, yesterday's episode became the finale to mark a new beginning.
It would have to be another while before things are perfected; but nevertheless a new start. Never would it fall apart again for the aim is to eradicate the pain from my vocabulary.
五个月的低潮期在昨日出现了转变。来到这个城市的五年，过程就如过山车一般。来时的失魂在首六个月达到第一个高峰，随后而来的却是两年前的沉淀期。无法控制当时的情况，也许就该放手，收拾心情离去。但是上面就如有所补偿的发现了那个让心触动的人。
因此一切都改变，决定留下再次尝试。当一切爱情事业的步伐都是美好时，骤然而来的巨变是始料不及的。恋情的突然飞逝如晴天霹雳，没有一丝的所以然。一切的动力就在那时消失的无影无踪。
“祸不单行，福无双至” 真是没错。就在私人空间一团糟的时候，偏偏工作上也随波逐流。前面的痛楚篇说过失恋的痛楚刻骨铭心。如果随之而来的事业骤变的痛， 再加上被自己人出卖的感觉；那种痛才真的会让人难以招架。绚丽的世界在当时变成了灰色。
两个月的隐居生活就如和世界脱离。想要借此了解错在那里，也想让时间减少痛楚。从没想过一次去承受那么多的痛楚，但是现实中真有其事。那是一种从天堂坠入地狱的感觉；但也将让你真正去了解身旁的人。
一切如意时，你或许会被美丽的词汇所蒙蔽。奉承的话语会让你恍如在天空而不知现实。一旦一切改变时，原先身旁的人都不见了，反而是那些毫不起眼而又前默默无语的人会在此刻伸出援手。很多时候学习是需要付出代价的。
以为两个月会减少痛楚但却事与愿违，迈进了多一个月才想要收拾残局。失去动力是重新开始最大的问题；寂寞的感觉也悄然掩至。就在不知从何着手时，网上的那次谈话逆转了一切。
那次的长谈了解了谗言造成了分开，都是那么的不值得。却也化解了误会，重燃了昨日复合的火焰;推动了将破碎的世界重新粘合的动力。
人们常说每人都有一种天分。把原本灰色世界重新启动就是天分的一种；一个月内，色彩逐渐取代了单调的灰色。虽然知道一切将可能回到从前，昨日的曲目才是新开始的高潮。
还需要一段时间让一切趋于完美，但却是一个崭新的开始。发誓不会让它再次分裂，从此刻开始将会把痛楚从字典中删除。
Then decision reversed and decided a second attempt. Life was beautifully paced, having the best of both world in work and romance. It would have been great to lead such a wonderful life and just when you thought so, things just went the opposite. The break up came as a shock as the romance suddenly vanished into the thin air. Not a trace of hint as to what really went wrong. It really drived one deep down to lose the momentum for anything.
The Chinese saying goes "Misfortunes don't come alone and fortunes don't travel in parallel" (祸不单行，福无双至）. Just when the personal life was in a mess, came that work was going that way too. The earlier post on Pains suggested pain inflicted from a broken romance is devastating. To be followed by that from a failed career and to top it all, the pain from the sense of betrayal by someone close; it could well be one that you never possibly bear at all. The world suddenly collapsed and the used-to colorful life just went grey.
2 months of secluded living, disconnected from the world outside. Trying to understand what went wrong and awaiting the healing from the time to lessen the pains. The chance of inflicting so many pains at one go was rare but it happened. Is a feeling of falling from heaven to hell but then again, it was also time to see the true color of those around you.
When life was positive, you tend to be blinded by the flowery words used upon you, the sycophancy probably sent you to heaven without you realising the truth. But as you fell, those used to circle around vanished and those whom never caught your attention but quietly stood around then were the one to lend a hand. Many times you just have to learn it the hard ways.
Thought 2 months would have lessened the pains yet it did not; it slipped into another month before decided to pick up the pieces. Negative momentum was the biggest problem for a new start. Life was unbearable and yet loneliness crept in. Was at a loss of right things in perspective when the chance came for the chat on the web that again changed the world.
The long chat suggested those gossipers as the guilty party that led to the walk-out. Certainly was not worthwhile to fall into their hands. But the chat did clear the air somehow and pace the way for a rekindled relationship just yesterday. It also built up a new momentum to organise the once fallen world.
People said each one is gifted in his own way. Re-energising the grey world was a forte and within the month, things were patching up. Knowing that life would probably return to its original path, yesterday's episode became the finale to mark a new beginning.
It would have to be another while before things are perfected; but nevertheless a new start. Never would it fall apart again for the aim is to eradicate the pain from my vocabulary.
五个月的低潮期在昨日出现了转变。来到这个城市的五年，过程就如过山车一般。来时的失魂在首六个月达到第一个高峰，随后而来的却是两年前的沉淀期。无法控制当时的情况，也许就该放手，收拾心情离去。但是上面就如有所补偿的发现了那个让心触动的人。
因此一切都改变，决定留下再次尝试。当一切爱情事业的步伐都是美好时，骤然而来的巨变是始料不及的。恋情的突然飞逝如晴天霹雳，没有一丝的所以然。一切的动力就在那时消失的无影无踪。
“祸不单行，福无双至” 真是没错。就在私人空间一团糟的时候，偏偏工作上也随波逐流。前面的痛楚篇说过失恋的痛楚刻骨铭心。如果随之而来的事业骤变的痛， 再加上被自己人出卖的感觉；那种痛才真的会让人难以招架。绚丽的世界在当时变成了灰色。
两个月的隐居生活就如和世界脱离。想要借此了解错在那里，也想让时间减少痛楚。从没想过一次去承受那么多的痛楚，但是现实中真有其事。那是一种从天堂坠入地狱的感觉；但也将让你真正去了解身旁的人。
一切如意时，你或许会被美丽的词汇所蒙蔽。奉承的话语会让你恍如在天空而不知现实。一旦一切改变时，原先身旁的人都不见了，反而是那些毫不起眼而又前默默无语的人会在此刻伸出援手。很多时候学习是需要付出代价的。
以为两个月会减少痛楚但却事与愿违，迈进了多一个月才想要收拾残局。失去动力是重新开始最大的问题；寂寞的感觉也悄然掩至。就在不知从何着手时，网上的那次谈话逆转了一切。
那次的长谈了解了谗言造成了分开，都是那么的不值得。却也化解了误会，重燃了昨日复合的火焰;推动了将破碎的世界重新粘合的动力。
人们常说每人都有一种天分。把原本灰色世界重新启动就是天分的一种；一个月内，色彩逐渐取代了单调的灰色。虽然知道一切将可能回到从前，昨日的曲目才是新开始的高潮。
还需要一段时间让一切趋于完美，但却是一个崭新的开始。发誓不会让它再次分裂，从此刻开始将会把痛楚从字典中删除。
Childhood 童年
The days at childhood always remained unforgetable, although you did not live a wealthy life but the experience was definitely different. You did not have the wide variety of toys today to spoil yourself; a toy gun made from unwanted wood with the seeds gathered off the trees were weapons used in the battle. Climbing on top of tree trunk while the adults were sawing for timbers was as good as a ride in the amusement park today. If you are creative, anything around you can be part of your plays.
People then tend to lead a sociable life; they gathered around for chat when free and celebrated together during festive seasons. Today, people locked the whole family in their tiny apartments while the family members kept each to his room. The relationship today seems so remote.
Remember the younger days when an occasion celebrated by one family would stir the entire village into festive mood. When a family lost someone, there was a whole village to mourn the loss while lending the support. People knew each other in a village while nobody would be surprised if today you knew less than three families around you. Houses were scattered around in the village but they knew each other. Today you live next to each other in the high-rise, separated by a thin wall and yet you may not know your neighbor. What a life this is!
Children in the village played in the wild and the parents saw it as part of growing up. Today children live a life rostered by a tight schedule made by the parents; a little scratch would cause an alarm. Flowers growing in a green house are not trained to weather the storm while the grass in the open demostrate their ultimum in survival.
A person who does not taste the reality will not mature. If you do not go through the different stages in life, how would you experience it fully to leave your mark.
很怀念童年时在乡村的日子，生活虽然不是富裕，但是别有一般滋味。没有现在儿童拥有五花八门的玩具；人家丢弃木板锯成的玩具枪，加上树上摘下的草籽就是打野战的武器。又或者爬上大人们锯着的木桐当作骑木马；反正只要有创意，什么都是玩耍的材料。
当时住在一起的人们，比起现在的人要合群的多；大家闲时聚在一起聊天，节日时一起庆祝，好不热闹。现在的人，回家后就把自己和家人隔绝在屋里；家人又各自躲在自己的房间里，人与人之间显得隔膜好多。
记得在乡村里如果那家人在办喜事，全村人都喜气洋洋，仿佛自己家里在办喜事一样。如果有谁家在办白事，全村就会笼罩着一股悲伤的气氛。乡村里的人们都彼此认识；现在高楼里的邻居，如果你不认识超过三家，也没有人会觉得奇怪。村子里的房子各散东西，但是大家都相识；高楼里大家隔着一面墙，一户挨着一户反而不熟悉，真让人百思不得其解。
乡村里的孩子到处玩耍，大人们都很放心，认为小孩要学会照顾自己。高楼里的孩子生活在父母拟定的时间表里，差破一点皮都会叫父母大惊失色。温室里的小花从小被呵护，风暴来临时不知所措。山野间的小草历经日晒雨淋，反而能在逆境中茁壮成长。
人不尝试酸甜苦辣不会成长，人不经历种种，如何能在有限的人生里有所体会，并留下痕迹。
People then tend to lead a sociable life; they gathered around for chat when free and celebrated together during festive seasons. Today, people locked the whole family in their tiny apartments while the family members kept each to his room. The relationship today seems so remote.
Remember the younger days when an occasion celebrated by one family would stir the entire village into festive mood. When a family lost someone, there was a whole village to mourn the loss while lending the support. People knew each other in a village while nobody would be surprised if today you knew less than three families around you. Houses were scattered around in the village but they knew each other. Today you live next to each other in the high-rise, separated by a thin wall and yet you may not know your neighbor. What a life this is!
Children in the village played in the wild and the parents saw it as part of growing up. Today children live a life rostered by a tight schedule made by the parents; a little scratch would cause an alarm. Flowers growing in a green house are not trained to weather the storm while the grass in the open demostrate their ultimum in survival.
A person who does not taste the reality will not mature. If you do not go through the different stages in life, how would you experience it fully to leave your mark.
很怀念童年时在乡村的日子，生活虽然不是富裕，但是别有一般滋味。没有现在儿童拥有五花八门的玩具；人家丢弃木板锯成的玩具枪，加上树上摘下的草籽就是打野战的武器。又或者爬上大人们锯着的木桐当作骑木马；反正只要有创意，什么都是玩耍的材料。
当时住在一起的人们，比起现在的人要合群的多；大家闲时聚在一起聊天，节日时一起庆祝，好不热闹。现在的人，回家后就把自己和家人隔绝在屋里；家人又各自躲在自己的房间里，人与人之间显得隔膜好多。
记得在乡村里如果那家人在办喜事，全村人都喜气洋洋，仿佛自己家里在办喜事一样。如果有谁家在办白事，全村就会笼罩着一股悲伤的气氛。乡村里的人们都彼此认识；现在高楼里的邻居，如果你不认识超过三家，也没有人会觉得奇怪。村子里的房子各散东西，但是大家都相识；高楼里大家隔着一面墙，一户挨着一户反而不熟悉，真让人百思不得其解。
乡村里的孩子到处玩耍，大人们都很放心，认为小孩要学会照顾自己。高楼里的孩子生活在父母拟定的时间表里，差破一点皮都会叫父母大惊失色。温室里的小花从小被呵护，风暴来临时不知所措。山野间的小草历经日晒雨淋，反而能在逆境中茁壮成长。
人不尝试酸甜苦辣不会成长，人不经历种种，如何能在有限的人生里有所体会，并留下痕迹。
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
Happiness 幸福的感觉
Life is such that you will never know what is happening next. Just yesterday was those painful thoughts although I said never to give up on the one who touches your heart; no matter how much time it takes to bring back the days. I was frankly expecting is a long drawn battle but thing could really take a change.
The feeling had to be so strong in past days to drill in me that you should always treasure the one you loved, never wait till is too late. Asking for an answer can be damaging now because knowing the personality and the 5 months break; but I chose to ask. I wrote the sms that if the answer is a No, I would rather it be now than later. I do not wish to live in false hope because it would end up more painful when it finally comes. If it is a Yes, then it would give me the strength to stay on. The feeling of awaiting a sentence or probably none is beyond other's comprehension.
Hour passed till I was nearly giving up for a reply, then the phone beeped with a new message. Free till 5 today. The usual simple and short message that gave no clue to an answer. Pick up the phone and arrange to meet but the heart was racing like a first date. Anticipating the worst at the meeting but praying for the best.
When both were in the car, did the usual of reading the magazine without a hint of the decision. I finally broke the silence and share my feeling. The smile came as I said I don't understand that it was normally for others to take an instruction; but it has to be the opposite when is between us. Is clear in the past I do not have any bargaining power before the person I love dearly. I only wanted happiness for the one I love; even if it meant I have to stand aside.
Can I still call you dear? You can call anything you want - came the answer. I said that dear has a special meaning from me. The smile reappears. Certainly is clear that I would never have an upperhand between us and I never wanted it. Is the love and the person that I want. The final nod makes my world turns and happiness suddenly settle on me. Never did I expect the return of the romance so fast. It showed no progress in the past weeks; but then I thought my past days' efforts of speaking my feeling did pay off.
Whatever pain I felt just yesterday now disappears. The joy in me clearly shown on my face as we had the first meal together since 5 months ago. I believe after all the unpleasant setbacks in the past months, the one up there has finally looked at me again. This gain has surpassed whatever I lost in the past months and I believe that the lady of luck will shine on me once more.
Now it shows truly that if you don't give up in what you believe in love, happiness will finally be yours. True Love really lives forever.
悲欢离合，阴晴圆缺；人生的下一步你永远捉摸不定。昨日的心痛今早尚在，虽然说过不会放弃那个触动自己心的人，不管付出什么；却也认为这是场持久战。但是事情总在一霎那间就改变了。
过去几天， 那种惜缘，珍惜所爱的人的强烈感觉一直围绕着脑海。了解其个性和分开的五个月，去要求一个答案根本是冒险，但是我还是选择知道答案。通过简讯，我说如果没有希望，我宁愿现在痛苦，也不愿活在幻想中，以后的痛苦会加倍。如果有个希望，那将是我坚持的动力。那种等待判决，或是更本没有答复的心境是外人所不能了解的。
时间的流逝让我对于答复趋于绝望时，手机哔的显现新讯息。到五点有时间；简短到让人无法捉摸。约了见面，但心跳加速如初次约会一般。做了最坏的打算，却祈祷最好的结果。
车上依然故我，翻阅着杂志，没有任何暗示。最终自己打破了沉默，说出了内心的感觉。说着不知为何每当我们两人时， 我永远那么无助；平时习惯对人发号施令在此时只有等候命令的宿命。 那个熟悉的微笑出现了；因为事实一直就是如此。说着我只希望所爱的人幸福，就算自己必须离开跑道。
还可以叫你亲爱的吗？你要怎么叫也行 - 就是这样的答案。我说我口中的亲爱的代表着特别的意义；那个微笑再次显现。显而易见我从来不要在我们之间占上风，我要的只是那个人的爱。一个含蓄的最终点头让我的世界重新旋转，幸福的感觉突然降临。从未想过能如此迅速重拾旧爱；因为过去数星期不曾有过进展。我相信过去数天的心里话终于有所回报。
昨日所有的疼痛现在全消失了。脸上的笑容在我们分开五个月后的第一次用餐时久久不散。经历过去数月的挫折，上面的那位终于看到我了。今天的所得超越了数月前所失去的，我相信幸运之神就将重新眷顾我一般。
这证明了如果你不放弃所相信的真爱，幸福终于会到来。真爱真的永远不息。
The feeling had to be so strong in past days to drill in me that you should always treasure the one you loved, never wait till is too late. Asking for an answer can be damaging now because knowing the personality and the 5 months break; but I chose to ask. I wrote the sms that if the answer is a No, I would rather it be now than later. I do not wish to live in false hope because it would end up more painful when it finally comes. If it is a Yes, then it would give me the strength to stay on. The feeling of awaiting a sentence or probably none is beyond other's comprehension.
Hour passed till I was nearly giving up for a reply, then the phone beeped with a new message. Free till 5 today. The usual simple and short message that gave no clue to an answer. Pick up the phone and arrange to meet but the heart was racing like a first date. Anticipating the worst at the meeting but praying for the best.
When both were in the car, did the usual of reading the magazine without a hint of the decision. I finally broke the silence and share my feeling. The smile came as I said I don't understand that it was normally for others to take an instruction; but it has to be the opposite when is between us. Is clear in the past I do not have any bargaining power before the person I love dearly. I only wanted happiness for the one I love; even if it meant I have to stand aside.
Can I still call you dear? You can call anything you want - came the answer. I said that dear has a special meaning from me. The smile reappears. Certainly is clear that I would never have an upperhand between us and I never wanted it. Is the love and the person that I want. The final nod makes my world turns and happiness suddenly settle on me. Never did I expect the return of the romance so fast. It showed no progress in the past weeks; but then I thought my past days' efforts of speaking my feeling did pay off.
Whatever pain I felt just yesterday now disappears. The joy in me clearly shown on my face as we had the first meal together since 5 months ago. I believe after all the unpleasant setbacks in the past months, the one up there has finally looked at me again. This gain has surpassed whatever I lost in the past months and I believe that the lady of luck will shine on me once more.
Now it shows truly that if you don't give up in what you believe in love, happiness will finally be yours. True Love really lives forever.
悲欢离合，阴晴圆缺；人生的下一步你永远捉摸不定。昨日的心痛今早尚在，虽然说过不会放弃那个触动自己心的人，不管付出什么；却也认为这是场持久战。但是事情总在一霎那间就改变了。
过去几天， 那种惜缘，珍惜所爱的人的强烈感觉一直围绕着脑海。了解其个性和分开的五个月，去要求一个答案根本是冒险，但是我还是选择知道答案。通过简讯，我说如果没有希望，我宁愿现在痛苦，也不愿活在幻想中，以后的痛苦会加倍。如果有个希望，那将是我坚持的动力。那种等待判决，或是更本没有答复的心境是外人所不能了解的。
时间的流逝让我对于答复趋于绝望时，手机哔的显现新讯息。到五点有时间；简短到让人无法捉摸。约了见面，但心跳加速如初次约会一般。做了最坏的打算，却祈祷最好的结果。
车上依然故我，翻阅着杂志，没有任何暗示。最终自己打破了沉默，说出了内心的感觉。说着不知为何每当我们两人时， 我永远那么无助；平时习惯对人发号施令在此时只有等候命令的宿命。 那个熟悉的微笑出现了；因为事实一直就是如此。说着我只希望所爱的人幸福，就算自己必须离开跑道。
还可以叫你亲爱的吗？你要怎么叫也行 - 就是这样的答案。我说我口中的亲爱的代表着特别的意义；那个微笑再次显现。显而易见我从来不要在我们之间占上风，我要的只是那个人的爱。一个含蓄的最终点头让我的世界重新旋转，幸福的感觉突然降临。从未想过能如此迅速重拾旧爱；因为过去数星期不曾有过进展。我相信过去数天的心里话终于有所回报。
昨日所有的疼痛现在全消失了。脸上的笑容在我们分开五个月后的第一次用餐时久久不散。经历过去数月的挫折，上面的那位终于看到我了。今天的所得超越了数月前所失去的，我相信幸运之神就将重新眷顾我一般。
这证明了如果你不放弃所相信的真爱，幸福终于会到来。真爱真的永远不息。
Monday, January 21, 2008
Pain in the Heart 心痛
I reckon everyone went through the stage being in pain, physically and mentally. Physical pains will heal over time but mental pains can go a long way. When you fall or bleed, the pain is instant and at times overwhelming but such pain will fade when you are attended to medically. However, pains suffered mentally is like a cut right in the heart, definitely so huge that you can get carried away. Some said such pain will heal over time, although longer but to those who suffered such pain, it can be everlasting.
You pain when you lose someone physically. The pain I had last night came as a shock but was a mild pain in the heart, the type that you probably sob in the heart but not shown physically. When dad left couple of years ago, that pain is much more devastating. Though mentally prepared, it still hurt deeply when it came. The news came at night, picked up few clothes and rushed to the airport in morning. The 2 hours flight seems everlasting. Hit the airport and took a cab right to the hospital. My family was already there and dad was on ventilator. He was not responsiveness but I knew within him, he knew by then everyone was by his side. I knew he was worried for all; saw the hard breathing state and whispered in his ears that we would take care of ourselves. And hour later, he left with a smile on his face. That pain was more heart-breaking, like needles picking the heart. Tears in the eyes but I knew it was a storm in the heart. Is even more unbearable when you could not show it before our devastating mom.
If you ever felt betrayed, you probably knew the pain in you; even more when the person was someone closed. The sense of betrayal could be for work, relationship and others. It would be like salt on the wound if you were double-crossed by someone close to you. Remember the naiveness when fighting a battle for your pals, you thought you had braved the hardship together and you were most willing to do almost anything for them. When the battle triumphed, it was everyone's credit but when it failed, you would be the first offering on the table. That pain is regret plus disgust; if it involved someone close, you need to add another 100%. You will tend to have the feeling of a revenge if you could then. If the betrayal is over a relationship, the pain will be more detrimental in nature; is like the world suddenly stopped revolving but you still would pick up after some times.
The pain is the greatest when you lose someone you love mentally. When you break off in a romance, the world suddenly breaks apart if the person is one who touches your heart. If deep down there was real feeling, a break-up would hurt both badly. People teased that a misunderstanding kicks off a romance and an understanding kills it. If you parted with good understanding, the pain will probably ease but if you parted with a misunderstanding, the pain is hard to overcome. I hate gossips since young and it was what these words that caused me to sink into sorrow lately. It took us 5 months to start a conversation to realise that what some red-eyed monsters can caused big problems. Knowing words hurt, such people would not hesitate to use all available in their vocabulary. The pain was unbearable like a knife pierce through the heart when you broke up; is a second knife to add on when you knew later that the break-up was a plot, was uncalled for.
5 months of parting did not make us stranger but damaging enough for the flame to tone down. When you found the one who touches your heart in love and in pain, never give up and treasure it when the one is still around. It would probably take sometime to rekindle the flame and to build the confidence； but because it had rooted itself within, whatever the cost would be, it would have to go forward.
True Love never ends with living together happily ever after; True Love never ends. It lives forever. This is the only way to redeem the pain suffered.
痛会伴随每个人成长的阶段，不管是肉体上或心灵上。肉体上的疼痛会随时间流失；心灵上的痛却是历久常新。跌倒了，流血了；那种痛是即时的，有时也是难耐的。但是它会在你接受一些医药料理后慢慢消失。心灵上的痛却像是在心中割了一刀，它的痛楚常常让人匪夷所思。有人说这种痛虽然时间长，最后也会愈合；但是对于深陷其中的当事人，这种痛也许会持之永恒。
当你失去一个人时，你会痛；就像昨晚那样的痛，来的突然却是心中幽幽的那种痛。你可能会心中默默的流泪却不会嚎啕大哭。当爸几年前离去时，那种痛是痛彻心肺的。虽然心里有所准备，来时却还是疼痛难忍。晚上接到消息，早上匆匆拿了几件衣服赶到机场。两小时的行程好像无尽头似的。机场一路到医院，全家已经聚集，爸没什么反应。但我知道他已经知晓大家都到了，我了解他始终不放心。看着他辛苦的呼吸着，忍不住在他耳边轻说我们会照顾自己的。一会儿他带着微笑走了。那时的痛是那么的大，像无数针往心里刺一般。眼中的泪无法抵御心中的暴雨，当你无法在崩溃的妈面前表露时越是如此。
如果你曾经让人出卖过，你会知道这种痛；尤其是被身边的人出卖时。被背叛的感觉可能源自工作或人际关系。当被自己人背叛和出卖时，就犹如在伤口上撒盐。记得天真的为所谓知己背水一战，当你认为大家曾经同甘共苦过，当你毫无保留的付出时。胜利是大家的，失败是自己的；那种痛是悔恨加不屑。如果是身边人所为，痛楚则是百倍，而你也会有复仇的心态。如果被背叛的是一段感情，那种痛会让你觉得世界突然间停止了转动；但是你会在时间的呵护下重新站起来。
最大的痛楚源自在心理上失去心爱的人。当你从一段刻骨铭心的恋情中分裂出来，就好像世界被拨开两边一样。如果内心的感情恒久而真，一段破裂的恋情将让两人痛苦。人们常说‘因误会而开始，因了解而分手’。如果你是真的因为了解而分手，那种痛会消散；但是如果因为误会而分手，那种痛是无法忘怀的。很讨厌长言流短的闲话， 它让我最近痛苦万分；五个月的长时间让我们从新在网上聊起，才知道有些红眼怪在搞破坏。虽然人们知道言语有时胜过千军万马，有些人就不吝啬于言语破坏。失去所爱的痛如一剑刺穿心， 当你知道一切皆是人为和误解，就如第二把剑穿过一样；无辜的去承受着巨大的痛楚。
五个月的分开虽然不致把我们变为陌路，但却也让情冷却。当你找到一个牵动你心，又会让你痛彻心肺的人时；不能放弃，要珍惜眼前人。虽然要努力才能让爱火重燃，让信心重建；但是面对一段始终无法忘怀的感情，不管前面的路多难走，也没有退路。
真爱不会如童话一般幸福生活的结局；真爱没有结局。真爱不息，这是对先前的痛的补偿。
You pain when you lose someone physically. The pain I had last night came as a shock but was a mild pain in the heart, the type that you probably sob in the heart but not shown physically. When dad left couple of years ago, that pain is much more devastating. Though mentally prepared, it still hurt deeply when it came. The news came at night, picked up few clothes and rushed to the airport in morning. The 2 hours flight seems everlasting. Hit the airport and took a cab right to the hospital. My family was already there and dad was on ventilator. He was not responsiveness but I knew within him, he knew by then everyone was by his side. I knew he was worried for all; saw the hard breathing state and whispered in his ears that we would take care of ourselves. And hour later, he left with a smile on his face. That pain was more heart-breaking, like needles picking the heart. Tears in the eyes but I knew it was a storm in the heart. Is even more unbearable when you could not show it before our devastating mom.
If you ever felt betrayed, you probably knew the pain in you; even more when the person was someone closed. The sense of betrayal could be for work, relationship and others. It would be like salt on the wound if you were double-crossed by someone close to you. Remember the naiveness when fighting a battle for your pals, you thought you had braved the hardship together and you were most willing to do almost anything for them. When the battle triumphed, it was everyone's credit but when it failed, you would be the first offering on the table. That pain is regret plus disgust; if it involved someone close, you need to add another 100%. You will tend to have the feeling of a revenge if you could then. If the betrayal is over a relationship, the pain will be more detrimental in nature; is like the world suddenly stopped revolving but you still would pick up after some times.
The pain is the greatest when you lose someone you love mentally. When you break off in a romance, the world suddenly breaks apart if the person is one who touches your heart. If deep down there was real feeling, a break-up would hurt both badly. People teased that a misunderstanding kicks off a romance and an understanding kills it. If you parted with good understanding, the pain will probably ease but if you parted with a misunderstanding, the pain is hard to overcome. I hate gossips since young and it was what these words that caused me to sink into sorrow lately. It took us 5 months to start a conversation to realise that what some red-eyed monsters can caused big problems. Knowing words hurt, such people would not hesitate to use all available in their vocabulary. The pain was unbearable like a knife pierce through the heart when you broke up; is a second knife to add on when you knew later that the break-up was a plot, was uncalled for.
5 months of parting did not make us stranger but damaging enough for the flame to tone down. When you found the one who touches your heart in love and in pain, never give up and treasure it when the one is still around. It would probably take sometime to rekindle the flame and to build the confidence； but because it had rooted itself within, whatever the cost would be, it would have to go forward.
True Love never ends with living together happily ever after; True Love never ends. It lives forever. This is the only way to redeem the pain suffered.
痛会伴随每个人成长的阶段，不管是肉体上或心灵上。肉体上的疼痛会随时间流失；心灵上的痛却是历久常新。跌倒了，流血了；那种痛是即时的，有时也是难耐的。但是它会在你接受一些医药料理后慢慢消失。心灵上的痛却像是在心中割了一刀，它的痛楚常常让人匪夷所思。有人说这种痛虽然时间长，最后也会愈合；但是对于深陷其中的当事人，这种痛也许会持之永恒。
当你失去一个人时，你会痛；就像昨晚那样的痛，来的突然却是心中幽幽的那种痛。你可能会心中默默的流泪却不会嚎啕大哭。当爸几年前离去时，那种痛是痛彻心肺的。虽然心里有所准备，来时却还是疼痛难忍。晚上接到消息，早上匆匆拿了几件衣服赶到机场。两小时的行程好像无尽头似的。机场一路到医院，全家已经聚集，爸没什么反应。但我知道他已经知晓大家都到了，我了解他始终不放心。看着他辛苦的呼吸着，忍不住在他耳边轻说我们会照顾自己的。一会儿他带着微笑走了。那时的痛是那么的大，像无数针往心里刺一般。眼中的泪无法抵御心中的暴雨，当你无法在崩溃的妈面前表露时越是如此。
如果你曾经让人出卖过，你会知道这种痛；尤其是被身边的人出卖时。被背叛的感觉可能源自工作或人际关系。当被自己人背叛和出卖时，就犹如在伤口上撒盐。记得天真的为所谓知己背水一战，当你认为大家曾经同甘共苦过，当你毫无保留的付出时。胜利是大家的，失败是自己的；那种痛是悔恨加不屑。如果是身边人所为，痛楚则是百倍，而你也会有复仇的心态。如果被背叛的是一段感情，那种痛会让你觉得世界突然间停止了转动；但是你会在时间的呵护下重新站起来。
最大的痛楚源自在心理上失去心爱的人。当你从一段刻骨铭心的恋情中分裂出来，就好像世界被拨开两边一样。如果内心的感情恒久而真，一段破裂的恋情将让两人痛苦。人们常说‘因误会而开始，因了解而分手’。如果你是真的因为了解而分手，那种痛会消散；但是如果因为误会而分手，那种痛是无法忘怀的。很讨厌长言流短的闲话， 它让我最近痛苦万分；五个月的长时间让我们从新在网上聊起，才知道有些红眼怪在搞破坏。虽然人们知道言语有时胜过千军万马，有些人就不吝啬于言语破坏。失去所爱的痛如一剑刺穿心， 当你知道一切皆是人为和误解，就如第二把剑穿过一样；无辜的去承受着巨大的痛楚。
五个月的分开虽然不致把我们变为陌路，但却也让情冷却。当你找到一个牵动你心，又会让你痛彻心肺的人时；不能放弃，要珍惜眼前人。虽然要努力才能让爱火重燃，让信心重建；但是面对一段始终无法忘怀的感情，不管前面的路多难走，也没有退路。
真爱不会如童话一般幸福生活的结局；真爱没有结局。真爱不息，这是对先前的痛的补偿。
Sunday, January 20, 2008
Sentimental 伤感
The news I received last night stayed in my mind till this moment; when I first heard it, it was a sense of sorrow or I could not actually describe it. B had passed away in an accident just 5 days into the new year. I did not get to know it until now; in fact all of us only knew it this moment. The family did not inform anyone until it was all over.
B is not just a passer-by to me, but someone who had witnessed part of the changes in my life; in fact the first person I knew as a friend when I came to a new place years ago. When I first stepped foot into that vibrant city, I was not lost but as sentimental as now. I went there after an earlier sad episode and decided to take a break. B made a friendly move and we were become friends. I was shown around the new place and settled down quickly, all thanks to B.
B had a playful personality and always mindful of people's opinions. The uneventful grown-up stage made B trying hard to gain an extra mile whenever possible in all things. Some people thoughts that was calculative or even ploting at times. But knowing the past, I fully understand the way B was.
For the last 2 years, we had not been in touch much because I was too busy at works and B was for one reason or another, staying away from the usual scenes. Few people knew except B had gone back to the grandparents.
Although that, it still hurts me badly when the news came. To me, it was so unexpected and sad that B left without anyone's knowing. The family thoughts for a span of 25 years for B, it would be better to cut short the sorrow for the living elders.
It was definitely a sad way to start off a new year, when my mind was still tinkling with thoughts of a tv drama the previous night when the lead actor cried that he was helpless as a doctor to see people he loved left one after another. I did not think I would almost be in the same shoe just less than 24 hours later. I don't think I could do much for B but at least if we had knew, we could have seen to the last journey; although I knew we had to respect the wish of the family.
Now I pray that a better life awaits B. It made me realised that one has to cherish the people around him before it's gone forever. SMS
昨晚收到的消息到今天还留在我脑海里。刚听到时，不相信的打了几个电话去确定；确定了留下的只有伤感或是说不出的感觉。毕在新年的第五天因为发生意外走了，周遭的人和我一样，都刚接到消息；毕的家人在一切过后才告知他人。
对我来说，毕不是我人生的一个过客，是一个见证了我的一些人生改变的朋友。毕其实是我来到一个新地方后所认识的第一个朋友。几年前来到一个繁华城市，心情不是迷失而是同样的伤感。之前一段不愉快的经历让我决定到那里休息一阵子。毕的友善让我们成为了朋友；毕的帮助也让我在那个城市中迅速安定下来。
毕的性格好玩，但是介意别人对自己的看法。毕的不愉快成长过程让其在任何时刻都想抢占先机；有人认为毕计较太多，有人认为心机太重。但是我对毕的了解，让我知道为何每个机会对毕都那么重要。
过去的两年，我们很少联系；因为我工作繁重，毕也因自己的理由避开了原有的朋友．最后大家得知的是毕回到了祖父家去了。
虽然如此，听到消息时，心理难过万分。对我而言，消息来得突然，难过的是毕走得无人知晓。毕的家人不想在世的白头人为毕短暂的２５年再有伤感。
这样的新年真的无所适从；之前心里还在想着前晚电视剧里，身为医生的男主角哭着说讨厌看着心爱的人一个一个离去而自己无能为力。想不到没到２４小时，我自己就感同身处；有时不免想着人生如戏。自己纵然不能为毕做些什么，但是如果早些得知，或许就能送毕最后一程；虽然自己也尊重毕家人的做法。我只能祈祷毕会有一个更好的来世。
大家都应该珍惜眼前人，等到失去了就太迟了。切记惜缘。
B is not just a passer-by to me, but someone who had witnessed part of the changes in my life; in fact the first person I knew as a friend when I came to a new place years ago. When I first stepped foot into that vibrant city, I was not lost but as sentimental as now. I went there after an earlier sad episode and decided to take a break. B made a friendly move and we were become friends. I was shown around the new place and settled down quickly, all thanks to B.
B had a playful personality and always mindful of people's opinions. The uneventful grown-up stage made B trying hard to gain an extra mile whenever possible in all things. Some people thoughts that was calculative or even ploting at times. But knowing the past, I fully understand the way B was.
For the last 2 years, we had not been in touch much because I was too busy at works and B was for one reason or another, staying away from the usual scenes. Few people knew except B had gone back to the grandparents.
Although that, it still hurts me badly when the news came. To me, it was so unexpected and sad that B left without anyone's knowing. The family thoughts for a span of 25 years for B, it would be better to cut short the sorrow for the living elders.
It was definitely a sad way to start off a new year, when my mind was still tinkling with thoughts of a tv drama the previous night when the lead actor cried that he was helpless as a doctor to see people he loved left one after another. I did not think I would almost be in the same shoe just less than 24 hours later. I don't think I could do much for B but at least if we had knew, we could have seen to the last journey; although I knew we had to respect the wish of the family.
Now I pray that a better life awaits B. It made me realised that one has to cherish the people around him before it's gone forever. SMS
昨晚收到的消息到今天还留在我脑海里。刚听到时，不相信的打了几个电话去确定；确定了留下的只有伤感或是说不出的感觉。毕在新年的第五天因为发生意外走了，周遭的人和我一样，都刚接到消息；毕的家人在一切过后才告知他人。
对我来说，毕不是我人生的一个过客，是一个见证了我的一些人生改变的朋友。毕其实是我来到一个新地方后所认识的第一个朋友。几年前来到一个繁华城市，心情不是迷失而是同样的伤感。之前一段不愉快的经历让我决定到那里休息一阵子。毕的友善让我们成为了朋友；毕的帮助也让我在那个城市中迅速安定下来。
毕的性格好玩，但是介意别人对自己的看法。毕的不愉快成长过程让其在任何时刻都想抢占先机；有人认为毕计较太多，有人认为心机太重。但是我对毕的了解，让我知道为何每个机会对毕都那么重要。
过去的两年，我们很少联系；因为我工作繁重，毕也因自己的理由避开了原有的朋友．最后大家得知的是毕回到了祖父家去了。
虽然如此，听到消息时，心理难过万分。对我而言，消息来得突然，难过的是毕走得无人知晓。毕的家人不想在世的白头人为毕短暂的２５年再有伤感。
这样的新年真的无所适从；之前心里还在想着前晚电视剧里，身为医生的男主角哭着说讨厌看着心爱的人一个一个离去而自己无能为力。想不到没到２４小时，我自己就感同身处；有时不免想着人生如戏。自己纵然不能为毕做些什么，但是如果早些得知，或许就能送毕最后一程；虽然自己也尊重毕家人的做法。我只能祈祷毕会有一个更好的来世。
大家都应该珍惜眼前人，等到失去了就太迟了。切记惜缘。
Why Blog? 部落格？
Blogging has been around so long but for a person like me who almost live with a comp everyday has never gone into it till now. Instead I have been writing my thoughts in my diary all these years, and I do not how many books have I kept so far.
Many things happened lately and there are just so many thoughts that come by and I reckon the blog may help to take some of it away, otherwise I would properly ended up guilty of killing more trees.
I cannot recall how many places I have been to and therefore how many people I have met. There are those at work, at play and those passers-by and certainly those hey-hi people who I don't even recall their names. My works over the years gave me the opportunity to meet all kind of people and at the peak, I can be speaking to thousand at any one time. (I leave it to you to guess what I was working then.) But what I truly enjoy is that opportunity to know people but at times, such opportunity hurts.
In this blog, I will leave my thoughts and along the line, I will share some of my real time experience in life and what I had gone through. Maybe given another chance, I always wonder would I have lived better or worst than what I am now.
部落格在网上出现了好久，但是对于一个整天对着电脑的我却时至今日猜想有个部落格。我有写日记的习惯，也不知道到今天留下了几本。
最近发生了好多事情，心情乱透了，想的也蛮多；想想或许部落格就能让我减少罪孽，因写少几本日记而少砍几棵树。
因工作我不知走过多少地方，见了多少人；一些于公，一些于私。一些人充其量只是个过客，一些连打个招呼都不曾在我脑里留下记忆。工作上让我见了好多人，高峰期时我会一次过同时见上千人和跟他们谈话（让你去猜想我先前的工作）。我喜欢的就是结交朋友的机会，但是有时这些机会真的很伤人。
我的部落格将是我的心情随笔，或许一些我的经历。有时想想，如果重来一回，我还会走回原来的路吗？
Many things happened lately and there are just so many thoughts that come by and I reckon the blog may help to take some of it away, otherwise I would properly ended up guilty of killing more trees.
I cannot recall how many places I have been to and therefore how many people I have met. There are those at work, at play and those passers-by and certainly those hey-hi people who I don't even recall their names. My works over the years gave me the opportunity to meet all kind of people and at the peak, I can be speaking to thousand at any one time. (I leave it to you to guess what I was working then.) But what I truly enjoy is that opportunity to know people but at times, such opportunity hurts.
In this blog, I will leave my thoughts and along the line, I will share some of my real time experience in life and what I had gone through. Maybe given another chance, I always wonder would I have lived better or worst than what I am now.
部落格在网上出现了好久，但是对于一个整天对着电脑的我却时至今日猜想有个部落格。我有写日记的习惯，也不知道到今天留下了几本。
最近发生了好多事情，心情乱透了，想的也蛮多；想想或许部落格就能让我减少罪孽，因写少几本日记而少砍几棵树。
因工作我不知走过多少地方，见了多少人；一些于公，一些于私。一些人充其量只是个过客，一些连打个招呼都不曾在我脑里留下记忆。工作上让我见了好多人，高峰期时我会一次过同时见上千人和跟他们谈话（让你去猜想我先前的工作）。我喜欢的就是结交朋友的机会，但是有时这些机会真的很伤人。
我的部落格将是我的心情随笔，或许一些我的经历。有时想想，如果重来一回，我还会走回原来的路吗？
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
