A New Beginning 新开始

Life took a turn yesterday after more than 5 months of low tide. It has been adventurous in the past 5 years since coming to this city; life was like a roller coaster as the song is played. Came as a lost soul and picked up in the first 6 months to a new height, before sinking again just 2 years ago. Could not control that development and should have given up then, packed and gone home. But someone up there did decided to compensate by bringing the one who touches the heart at that time.

Then decision reversed and decided a second attempt. Life was beautifully paced, having the best of both world in work and romance. It would have been great to lead such a wonderful life and just when you thought so, things just went the opposite. The break up came as a shock as the romance suddenly vanished into the thin air. Not a trace of hint as to what really went wrong. It really drived one deep down to lose the momentum for anything.

The Chinese saying goes "Misfortunes don't come alone and fortunes don't travel in parallel" (祸不单行，福无双至）. Just when the personal life was in a mess, came that work was going that way too. The earlier post on Pains suggested pain inflicted from a broken romance is devastating. To be followed by that from a failed career and to top it all, the pain from the sense of betrayal by someone close; it could well be one that you never possibly bear at all. The world suddenly collapsed and the used-to colorful life just went grey.

2 months of secluded living, disconnected from the world outside. Trying to understand what went wrong and awaiting the healing from the time to lessen the pains. The chance of inflicting so many pains at one go was rare but it happened. Is a feeling of falling from heaven to hell but then again, it was also time to see the true color of those around you.

When life was positive, you tend to be blinded by the flowery words used upon you, the sycophancy probably sent you to heaven without you realising the truth. But as you fell, those used to circle around vanished and those whom never caught your attention but quietly stood around then were the one to lend a hand. Many times you just have to learn it the hard ways.

Thought 2 months would have lessened the pains yet it did not; it slipped into another month before decided to pick up the pieces. Negative momentum was the biggest problem for a new start. Life was unbearable and yet loneliness crept in. Was at a loss of right things in perspective when the chance came for the chat on the web that again changed the world.

The long chat suggested those gossipers as the guilty party that led to the walk-out. Certainly was not worthwhile to fall into their hands. But the chat did clear the air somehow and pace the way for a rekindled relationship just yesterday. It also built up a new momentum to organise the once fallen world.

People said each one is gifted in his own way. Re-energising the grey world was a forte and within the month, things were patching up. Knowing that life would probably return to its original path, yesterday's episode became the finale to mark a new beginning.

It would have to be another while before things are perfected; but nevertheless a new start. Never would it fall apart again for the aim is to eradicate the pain from my vocabulary.

五个月的低潮期在昨日出现了转变。来到这个城市的五年，过程就如过山车一般。来时的失魂在首六个月达到第一个高峰，随后而来的却是两年前的沉淀期。无法控制当时的情况，也许就该放手，收拾心情离去。但是上面就如有所补偿的发现了那个让心触动的人。

因此一切都改变，决定留下再次尝试。当一切爱情事业的步伐都是美好时，骤然而来的巨变是始料不及的。恋情的突然飞逝如晴天霹雳，没有一丝的所以然。一切的动力就在那时消失的无影无踪。

“祸不单行，福无双至” 真是没错。就在私人空间一团糟的时候，偏偏工作上也随波逐流。前面的痛楚篇说过失恋的痛楚刻骨铭心。如果随之而来的事业骤变的痛， 再加上被自己人出卖的感觉；那种痛才真的会让人难以招架。绚丽的世界在当时变成了灰色。

两个月的隐居生活就如和世界脱离。想要借此了解错在那里，也想让时间减少痛楚。从没想过一次去承受那么多的痛楚，但是现实中真有其事。那是一种从天堂坠入地狱的感觉；但也将让你真正去了解身旁的人。

一切如意时，你或许会被美丽的词汇所蒙蔽。奉承的话语会让你恍如在天空而不知现实。一旦一切改变时，原先身旁的人都不见了，反而是那些毫不起眼而又前默默无语的人会在此刻伸出援手。很多时候学习是需要付出代价的。

以为两个月会减少痛楚但却事与愿违，迈进了多一个月才想要收拾残局。失去动力是重新开始最大的问题；寂寞的感觉也悄然掩至。就在不知从何着手时，网上的那次谈话逆转了一切。

那次的长谈了解了谗言造成了分开，都是那么的不值得。却也化解了误会，重燃了昨日复合的火焰;推动了将破碎的世界重新粘合的动力。

人们常说每人都有一种天分。把原本灰色世界重新启动就是天分的一种；一个月内，色彩逐渐取代了单调的灰色。虽然知道一切将可能回到从前，昨日的曲目才是新开始的高潮。

还需要一段时间让一切趋于完美，但却是一个崭新的开始。发誓不会让它再次分裂，从此刻开始将会把痛楚从字典中删除。